for plaguedrat - continued [possibly nsfw]

[silenttrainbaby]

[from here]

They are both whole, they are both young, and alive. And a tear may fall-just one- for Gilliam who isn't here, Grey can run his hands down Rat's front, the body much like his own.

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[plaguedrat]

Under his many layers, Rat is lean and corded. He has eaten better than Grey probably has, but not by much and not in excess. His ribs are countable under Grey's fingers, his muscles hard and taut, making the soft scars on his back even more apparent.

This close, he can sense the warm water that slides down Grey's cheek. Rat raises a hand to cradle his jaw, eyes raised in question.

[silenttrainbaby]

There aren't enough words on Grey's skin to tell that story; he simply shakes his head and he kisses Rat again, very nearly closing his eyes this time. very nearly losing himself.

[plaguedrat]

Rat nods, running fingers over the words on Grey's skin as if he can pry up the explanation that burdens him.

"You miss someone?"

So does he. That empty part coils inside them both, even as they come together now.

[silenttrainbaby]

No kisses, then? Words, instead?

Grey nods, though and he taps the word over his heart: Gilliam.

[plaguedrat]

Rat skims him thumb along the name on his chest, nodding. He wonders what their bond had been like that Grey had wanted that to be permanently on his body. Has he ever known someone like that?

The name drops from his mouth before he thinks to stop himself. "Shion."

He leans forward, forehead to forehead with Grey.

[silenttrainbaby]

Those others aren't here. Grey and Rat are and if Grey has to force himself to go on in a world where Gilliam doesn't exist, Rat should too. He combs his fingers through damp hair and tilts Rat's face up. The moon is coming out now and it lights things differently. There is a strength and determination in Grey's face. Loneliness and grief won't kill either of them, will it?

[plaguedrat]

They're yet more things Rat has to learn to survive. He imagines Grey is the same.

Grey is right. They're here. Only them. That's the thing to focus on now.

Closing his eyes, Rat lets the moonlight pass over his face and feel some relative peace.

[silenttrainbaby]

Grey watches him and under the water, he traces his fingers along Rat's ribs, down to the concave of his belly.

[plaguedrat]

Rat leans his head to the side, enjoying the sensation while his own hands travel over Grey's back, skimming over tattoos he can't see in the growing darkness.

[silenttrainbaby]

Over Rat's back, then too, and Grey can feel the scarring; his eyes narrow in thought as he tries to figure what that is. Then he watches Rat's face. There is no encouragement for shame; they both have scars, but acknowledgement.

[plaguedrat]

Subtly, he rolls his shoulders and presses close in a way that slides Grey's hands toward his shoulders, away from the scars. From Grey's story, Rat doesn't imagine this is anything new for him. For himself, though, they represent a time of weakness. Failure.

[silenttrainbaby]

Grey had failed in that he had died; the ultimate failure. But he didn't pry, didn't force Rat to move in a certain way. Scars are scars, after all. Instead, he kisses Rat again, those hands wandering lower down the other boy's back.

[plaguedrat]

Rat leans back a little. Between the moonlight and his own eyes adjusting, he can see Grey's face well enough. Wordlessly, he raises his eyebrows, relieved that there are no questions.

Grey could ask, but he doesn't. For that, he's grateful, kissing back and letting himself forget for a moment.

(looping! And sorry for the journal fail!)

[silenttrainbaby]

There is the sound of skin slapping against skin and that is just a extra bonus to all that they are doing. Grey mouths words that don't have sounds and gets a hand between them, jerking himself in time with Rat's thrusts.

[plaguedrat]

Rat presses a hand against Grey's chest, hand traveling down to join his. He's seen Grey undone once already. He wants to see it again.

[silenttrainbaby]

Jaw working, Grey can give into the pleasure in this moment, trusting Rat to keep him from entirely splintering apart. Yes ...! Breath hisses between clenched teeth.

[plaguedrat]

For a moment, Rat forgets to move, entranced by the look on Grey's face. He only remembers to keep touching him, pumping him through. His own breathing is ragged, watching him intensely.

[silenttrainbaby]

It's a coming apart and back together and Grey's eyelids are heavy as he looks up at Rat. Come too, his fingers seem to say, dancing down the other boy's back. Then they can be linked, be together, after having shared this.

[plaguedrat]

Rat doesn't know the last time someone looked at him so openly, without disguise or an ulterior motive. The moment they share now...Rat doesn't need much more. His legs are shaking and he looks at Grey. Inside?

[silenttrainbaby]

A nod: inside. It's easier to keep clean that way, in Grey's experience. And he digs his fingers into Rat's lower back. Now.

[plaguedrat]

Grey's quiet, insistent communication sends a jolt across his skin all on its own and Rat nods. It doesn't take him much more to unravel, looking Grey in the eye as he does.

[silenttrainbaby]

Grey utters the most quiet whine as he feels it, as he feel their connection just before it got too painful. Rat had been right, too, about the small packets making it smoother. He pets over Rat's back, along the knobs of his spine, the burns, touching, grounding, being.

[plaguedrat]

For a moment, Rat is still. Shakily, he props up on his elbows and looks at Grey, asking wordlessly if he's all right, if it was good.

[silenttrainbaby]

He does push at Rat's shoulders, only because it is starting to hurt a little, but even as Rat moves, he moves, too, lying on his side, arm looping around Rat's waist. Kisses now, gentler, the sharp need sated. Kisses.

[plaguedrat]

Rat is careful, arranging himself next to Grey and tracing fingertips lightly down his side. All he wants is to indulge in these kisses, to forget that there is a world beyond this grove. Right now, there's no need to be.