for Rat

[silenttrainbaby]

It isn't as if Grey has found a sense of peace in the two days since he's seen Rat. He hasn't found the solution, an answer to his existential crisis. But he remembers where Rat lives. And, carrying the cat once again, he finds his way to the building and to the door and he taps his fingers against it. There were flowers on the side of the walk as he'd come here and he plucked them and they are already starting to wilt, even as the cat tries to eat them. Silly cat.

Comments

[plaguedrat]

It catches Rat just as he turns, surprising him but not enough to push away.

"Now everyone's happy."

[silenttrainbaby]

Oh.

Grey turns away to hide the hurt. He was just saying thank you, after all. He crouches by the cat, petting its ears as it eats, doing that talking thing it did when it ate.

[plaguedrat]

Rat looks at him, this time the confused one, and wondering why he feels so sorry.

"Grey?"

[silenttrainbaby]

Fingers running down the cat's back, Grey looks over his shoulder. Yeah?

[plaguedrat]

"I was just surprised..."

He sits on the floor next to Grey, fingertips gliding down his back, much the way the cat is being petted.

[silenttrainbaby]

It makes Grey shiver, just a little. He didn't mean to make him uncomfortable; it's kind of the last thing he wants to do.

No one has ever - ever - offered to make food for him. To feed the cat. It's small kindnesses that he learned to savor.

He searches Rat's face and he nods.

[plaguedrat]

Rat keeps doing it, almost unaware that he hasn't stopped. It's not bad, being like this. He wouldn't mind sharing a space with Grey, a friendship.

[silenttrainbaby]

It doesn't occur to Grey for it to be more. But on the train, relationships were fluid, undefined.

The cat finishes all the tuna it can eat and licks its whiskers. So Grey sits right there on the floor, loathe to give up the touch.

[plaguedrat]

And Rat isn't prepared to let the idea occur to him yet. He knows that this touch could be intimate, but he doesn't know if he can deal with those possibilities yet.

[silenttrainbaby]

The knobs of Grey's spine still protude, especially when he curves his back, not unlike a cat. He rests his cast on his knee, his cheek on his cast, watching Rat from the corner of his eye.

[plaguedrat]

Rat knows the feeling, though many of his vertebrae are hidden under thick, puffed-up scar tissue. He sits quietly, even as the shadows creep further and further across the floor.

[silenttrainbaby]

Really, Grey knows he should go, if only because the cat would need the litter box and even he knows how stinky that can be.

But the touch and the peace of this place makes him calm, stationary, reluctant to leave.

[plaguedrat]

"Well. You know where to find me now," Rat says, opening the option to Grey if he so desires.

[silenttrainbaby]

Oh, Grey will come back, if Rat doesn't mind. He likes it here. He likes listening to Rat read. He nods, finally getting to his feet, drumming his fingers on the floor to draw the cat closer to go back into the sling.

[plaguedrat]

Rat walks him to the door, opening his mouth uncertainly before nodding. "Thanks for coming by."

[silenttrainbaby]

It feels strange to leave. Like Grey has been here for ages and ages and the world outside has moved on.

He raises his hand to touch Rat's face, but lets it fall before he does. Instead, he waves, fingers wiggling a little.

[plaguedrat]

He wonders at the disappointment he feels when he isn't touched, but also finds himself smiling.

"See you soon."

[silenttrainbaby]

Silently, Grey turns to go, walking down the hall. Before he exits the building, he turns back once more.

Then he's gone.