for Rat

[silenttrainbaby]

It isn't as if Grey has found a sense of peace in the two days since he's seen Rat. He hasn't found the solution, an answer to his existential crisis. But he remembers where Rat lives. And, carrying the cat once again, he finds his way to the building and to the door and he taps his fingers against it. There were flowers on the side of the walk as he'd come here and he plucked them and they are already starting to wilt, even as the cat tries to eat them. Silly cat.

Comments

[plaguedrat]

Idly, Rat thinks that risotto wouldn't be hard to make. It takes patience and attention, but the ingredients are simple...

Snapping back to himself, Rat tries not to laugh. He's turning into an idiot.

[silenttrainbaby]

Watching him, Grey takes yet another bite then when he can catch Rat's eye, he nods toward the sofa. Come sit.

[plaguedrat]

He nods, coming over and dropping into the spot where he'd been reading, sandwich tight in one hand.

It's comfortable, like this. He can only think of one other person where this would feel as peaceful.

[silenttrainbaby]

There's really nothing like this in Grey's experience. Perhaps a stolen moment with Gilliam, but not where he is clean and and comfortable (cast and stitches aside) with such good food.

He nudges Rat's shoulder with his, giving him a small, sidelong smile.

[plaguedrat]

Teasing a little, Rat nudges back and then looks at him. What?

[silenttrainbaby]

Holding up a spoonful of his new favorite food, Grey offers it.

[plaguedrat]

Rat leans over and takes the spoon, appreciating the offer. Sharing food takes on a different meaning when you've starved in the past.

"It's good."

[silenttrainbaby]

It is very, very good. Grey nods, pleased that Rat likes it, too. He then takes another bite.

[plaguedrat]

"I could learn to make it..." He doesn't quite mean to give voice to the earlier thought, but it pops out all the same.

[silenttrainbaby]

He can?! Grey's eyes widen and he nods. That would be so good. He could then have it a lot! And with Rat, too. That would be so nice, to feel like this more often.

[plaguedrat]

He nods, trying to remember the one time he'd come across it in a recipe book. "Mostly it's just rice and chicken stock, stirred for ages," he says.

[silenttrainbaby]

That means very little to Grey, but he can help. He can stir, he thinks. He takes another bite and offers Grey another spoonful.

[plaguedrat]

It's tempting to just lean over and eat it off the spoon, but if also feels like he's on some kind of precipice. Instead, he takes the spoon in his hand again.

[silenttrainbaby]

He could. But either way, the rest of the food is gone very quickly and Grey is once again happily full.

He sets his bowl aside. The cat will need food soon, water. His litter box, though he seems happy now to lie pressed to Grey's side.

[plaguedrat]

Shrugging, Rat pads into the kitchen and finds a can of tuna he bought (or stole) and opens it, setting it out on the floor.

[silenttrainbaby]

What's this?! The cat perks up almost immediately, jumping down from the sofa to come after that smell. It smells delicious!

From where he sits, Grey snickers. They are both happy and it's because of Rat. He gets to his feet and brings his bowl over, setting it down to give the other boy a hug.

[plaguedrat]

It catches Rat just as he turns, surprising him but not enough to push away.

"Now everyone's happy."

[silenttrainbaby]

Oh.

Grey turns away to hide the hurt. He was just saying thank you, after all. He crouches by the cat, petting its ears as it eats, doing that talking thing it did when it ate.

[plaguedrat]

Rat looks at him, this time the confused one, and wondering why he feels so sorry.

"Grey?"

[silenttrainbaby]

Fingers running down the cat's back, Grey looks over his shoulder. Yeah?

[plaguedrat]

"I was just surprised..."

He sits on the floor next to Grey, fingertips gliding down his back, much the way the cat is being petted.

[silenttrainbaby]

It makes Grey shiver, just a little. He didn't mean to make him uncomfortable; it's kind of the last thing he wants to do.

No one has ever - ever - offered to make food for him. To feed the cat. It's small kindnesses that he learned to savor.

He searches Rat's face and he nods.

[plaguedrat]

Rat keeps doing it, almost unaware that he hasn't stopped. It's not bad, being like this. He wouldn't mind sharing a space with Grey, a friendship.

[silenttrainbaby]

It doesn't occur to Grey for it to be more. But on the train, relationships were fluid, undefined.

The cat finishes all the tuna it can eat and licks its whiskers. So Grey sits right there on the floor, loathe to give up the touch.

[plaguedrat]

And Rat isn't prepared to let the idea occur to him yet. He knows that this touch could be intimate, but he doesn't know if he can deal with those possibilities yet.