He fucking hated himself for expecting this, but doing nothing to stop it. Half wanting it, in a vague, aching sort of way.
But what he really wanted... He wanted to fucking crush Gilliam's throat with his own hands-- hand, now. To crush the life out of him, wiping the memory of him from all of their minds. And that, maybe, was the worst crime of all. He wanted to steal all those good memories of Gilliam, their leader and protector and friend, from Grey's mind. He wanted to darken them. To show them all what a fucking liar Gilliam had been.
He wanted something that didn't taste like engine oil and dust and death. He wanted something for himself, that wasn't stained by blood and shadowed by Gilliam and Wilford's overbearing presence.
He wanted to keep pushing forward, but what the fuck did that even mean anymore?
Goddamnit. He growled wordlessly, his hand finding its way into Grey's hair, and he opened up to the kiss, his first in too fucking long.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-12-05 04:32 am (UTC)But what he really wanted... He wanted to fucking crush Gilliam's throat with his own hands-- hand, now. To crush the life out of him, wiping the memory of him from all of their minds. And that, maybe, was the worst crime of all. He wanted to steal all those good memories of Gilliam, their leader and protector and friend, from Grey's mind. He wanted to darken them. To show them all what a fucking liar Gilliam had been.
He wanted something that didn't taste like engine oil and dust and death. He wanted something for himself, that wasn't stained by blood and shadowed by Gilliam and Wilford's overbearing presence.
He wanted to keep pushing forward, but what the fuck did that even mean anymore?
Goddamnit. He growled wordlessly, his hand finding its way into Grey's hair, and he opened up to the kiss, his first in too fucking long.